Saturday, March 31, 2012


It was a day in the latter end of March, about half past ten in the morning. I rushed towards the open door of the corridor to meet her. She was a tall, thin, bearded woman, for she had a beard all over her face, a surprising, an unexpected beard, growing in improbable tufts, in curly bunches which looked as if they had been sown by a madman over that great face, the face of a gendarme in petticoats. She had them on her squashed-in nose, under her nose, round her nose, on her chin, on her cheeks and her eyebrows, which were extraordinary thick and long, and quite grey, bushy and bristling, looked exactly like a pair of mustaches stuck on there by mistake. She was sitting on the floor with a camera kept near her. She was surrounded by thousands of photographs.  She put her long frizzy curly hair in between her thin lips and looked at me with her squinty eyes. I just cried “Oh ghosh!! Is she Ashwini? The girl who killed her father few years back.”

In past few years, I had successfully alleviated mental and emotional disturbances of several people by means of various techniques, occasionally drugs or electroconvulsive therapy, more often private or group psychotherapy. I had earned lot of love and respect as a renowned psychiatrist in New Delhi, capital of India, and felt utter joy when Delhi police handed me the complicated case of Ashwini. According to the police records, Ashwini was born in Delhi in 1982 in a middle class family of clerks. She did her schooling in Kendriya Vidyalaya and her graduation in an engineering college of Delhi-NCR region. She was a meritorious student having more than 80% marks scored throughout her career. She came in the limelight in May 2006 when she was arrested for slaying her father, just ten days after her mother died of a heart-attack. Later in 2007, she was sent to a mental rehabilitation Centre under the Delhi police, after a civil court declared her to be mentally unfit. Since then she had been attended by several top psychiatrists of the city but her condition deteriorated with time.

After getting this assignment, I started spending large amounts of time in observing Ashwini. Her behavior was really different from many of the mentally disordered people whom I have treated in the past. She used to obey all the rules and followed the routine life of the rehabilitation center. She always kept a self-adjusting auto-shoot camera near her, and in every 10 minutes a picture of her was taken by the camera.  For the other 5 minutes she was busy with the photograph that came out from the device. She has been doing this since last few years. She never uttered a single word and took all the medicines from nurses without forging any agitation for them. Most of the time, she was like an obliging 12 year old girl, but the only time when she really became lethal was when she had to kill time without her camera. That time, everyone was scared of her appalling violent power that she used in destroying anything that came in her way. Every night powerful doses of sleeping drugs were given to her for sound sleep. The causes of mental disorders are varied and in some cases unclear, and theories may incorporate findings from a range of fields. This was happening in the case of Ashwini too.  Like other psychiatrists, I was also not being able to trace the actual element of her mental disorder. The drugs that were used for her sound sleep, and for controlling her sudden violence, were gradually damaging her psychic condition. She was very close of being admitted in a mental hospital for involuntary commitment.

I believed in destiny but never left it to chance and this time fate had also planned something different for Ashwini that led me to find her diaries accidentally. I was sure that her diaries will lead me to enter in the realm of real Ashwini and eventually I will know the genesis of her mental disorder. I started reading her diaries…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
21 MAY 1994……………………………………….........................
Dear diary, thanks for coming into my life today and yeah it’s a special day for me, it’s my birthday. First let me tell you a few things about me... I have wavy/curly dark brown hair an inch or two longer than my shoulders and dark… and brown eyes.. I’m 4 ft. 10 ½ (I know I’m short for my age, 20th percentile, but I’m growing.) I’m in 7th grade this year and am dying to be 13 (then I’ll finally be a teenager!). I have to get braces really soon right now I’m wearing a twin block to move my jaw forward. Although braces are no walk in the sun, they’ve got to be better than this! I’m not popular but I’m not a loser and I’m actually pretty shy around other kids, unless I know them well. Now let me introduce you to my family. My papa works in a bank here in Delhi, My mother is a housewife and yeah she is My best friend. My brother is 2 years younger than me and we both adore each other. Sometimes, I feel jealous of all extra love and affections, he gets from papa, but mom says that brothers are always admired more than sisters in our country, India. It happened with her too. Earlier I used to feel abashed for my ugly looks that kept some of the kids away from me, but now I don’t feel so because of my mother’s promise that after few years, an angel will convert me into a beautiful damsel, and everyone will run after me. I am sure that from now onwards you will always remain loyal to me for My whole life and keep My all secrets only with you…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
JUNE 1997……………………………………….........................
 I have secured 1st position in my school by scoring 92% marks in class 10th board exams. My mother is so much delighted with my performance. Now I hope that my father will allow me to take maths and science for my higher secondary education, but he still believes that there have been some mistakes by C.B.S.E authorities while evaluating my exam copies. He even accused me for copying some other guys during exams, as he argues that he never saw me studying hard and it’s not possible for girls to top in a school dominated by boys. How can he be so mean and think this way for me? I am his daughter and he never cares for my happiness. Sometimes I feel that my father is the bane of my existence. Does he feel ashamed of my ugly looks? Oh diary!!  Do you also feel bashful for being the best buddy of an ugly girl? Oh angel!! where are you? I really need you, do something so that everyone starts appreciating me……………………..
AUGUST 2000………………………………………………...........
 I was really bemused about my college and my engg. Branch, but the first day at college went good, clearing all the negative thoughts that were stressing my brain since a long time. It was really a tough task for me to take mechanical engineering that my father never wanted me to study. I chose this department only to prove him that girls can do better than boys here too that has been dominated by them since a long time. He never gets satisfied with my educational achievements. Few months ago, after hearing the news that I have topped again in class 12 examinations, his state of mind declined that was already in a bad condition, after my brother scored very poor marks in 10th board exams. He even feels that I have stolen all good luck of my brother that led him to perform poorly in board exams…………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
MAY 2002……………………………………………………....
I have shed my weight and now I am a tall girl still having a curly hair, squinty eyes, squashed-in nose and thin lips. Though I still don’t look too attractive but now I have a few college friends. Unlike most other college girls, I am taken less seriously if I dress well. Yes, wearing a cute blazer and jeans (or make-up and accessories) actually diminishes how seriously my peers and professors take me. For some reason, certain professors seem to hold it against me that I am a girl going into a seriously male dominated world. However, being taken seriously is seemingly on the bottom of My "to-do" list when it comes to classes……………….
FEB 2004…………………………………………......................
How can he say this to me?? Do I really look so awful that even My college friends hesitate in posing with me for a photograph?? I know I am always the ugly one. Don't say that's a lie because you don't know what some people have said and done. It hurts to think about how mean some people could be. Even when I started to look a little better, they still couldn't see. Was he true when he told that everyone in my college feels ashamed of being My batchmate?? Why I’ve ever liked him that he rejected me for reasons of ‘God, you are so ugly’ or ‘I’d never go out with you’. Everyday this boy would tell me I am ugly and nasty, and then he got other people to say it too. You should have heard what they said to me in middle of the class. It was awful. I felt like crying. It is a torture and a living hell. Are my looks the reason that my father never loved me?? Is a girl’s physical beauty everything with which she is characterized in this world??Does the outer beauty matters more than the "inner" beauty? And if it is so then why it is so??................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
MARCH 2006…………………………………………...............
  My father has bought a self-adjusting digital camera for me so that I can take my photographs regularly and he can use one of my best photographs in sending my marriage proposals to different eligible bachelors' parents for further proceedings. I just pretend I look really good, sometimes it’s really hard though because I don’t like being, thinking... that I’m pretty when I’m not and today it has been proved after my marriage proposal has been rejected again for the 15th time since last year. Now I even can’t stand looking into mirrors because all I ever see looking back at myself is “ugliness and obesity”. “So I don’t look. My mother’s health is also becoming a cause of worry for me. Yesterday was the 2nd time since last month that she had been hospitalized for a severe chest pain. I am feeling sorry for my mother. My  father has started drinking whisky  more often these days, and I think he is right when he blames me for being the only reason  for everything that  is happening with my mother…………………………………………………………………
MAY 2006……………………………………………………....
Oh diary, can you imagine trying to focus on reading a book and in the background you hear a lawn mower getting progressively louder and louder until you couldn’t focus and even forget that you were supposed to be reading a book at all. My life has become a book whose pages are being formatted every day with increased space of guilt. My brain has lost its focus and My only beautiful possession that is My soul has also started losing its essence. All of a sudden, My will and determination to fight on has left me. I don’t feel any sort of calm and am not at all in peace that can give me a painless sleep. I am getting addicted of sleeping drugs. I love seeing my photographs, the only thing that elates me these days. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….........

Ashwini had started writing diary since the age of 12 years. I read all her diaries, but her best friend, diary kept her promise to be loyal and kept most of the ashwini’s secrets only with her. Many of the pages in the diary were missing and I was able to read only few pages of her diaries, but those pages assisted me to get much closer to the authentic cause of Ashwini’s mental disease.  I still wanted to know about the real incidents of the dark night that made her to assassinate her father 10 days after her mother deceased in a heart attack. I again went through the police records to know the details of the incident, but unfortunately I could not find much to make myself appeased. Finally, Sheila, the maid, who worked at ashwini’s house, came to my rescue and told me some unknown facts about ashwini’s family, and also about that night’s incident. She said stammeringly: “Sir, ashwini mam was an admirable girl with very friendly nature. But after March 2005, when my madam (ashwini’s mother) started remaining ill, ashwini mam’s behavior got drastically changed. She started living alone and her loneliness and anguishes were easily noticeable from her face. Earlier, she used to talk a lot with me, but during those days she barely uttered any words. Even I noticed a change in master’s (ashwini’s father) behavior. He started drinking wine every evening, and used to abuse ashwini when he came home after getting drunk. Ashwini mam used to cry a lot in her room and I felt pity on her worsened condition that was declining day by day.  The worst part happened in May 2006 when madam died of heart attack. After madam’s death, master even started harassing ashwini mam physically. That night when I had completed all my household works and was about to go back to my home, suddenly I heard moaning sounds from ashwini mam’s room. I rushed to her room immediately and there I saw that master was beating ashwini mam. She had worn one of the madam’s favorite saris that had angered master and he had lost his control. I got scared after perceiving all this with my eyes and rushed back to my home. Next morning when I returned to work, I was astonished to see policemen in the house. Master’s dead body was lying outside and policemen took ashwini mam into their custody for brutally slaying her father. Ashwini mam’s scary looks agitated me for a while. I still remember her squinty large red eyes that were continuously glaring at me as if they wanted to tell me something. Some people of nearby flats complained of huge amount of agitating sounds coming out from ashwini mam’s house last night. They even assumed that those continuous mourning sounds by ashwini mam were even hinting at a situation of her getting raped by her drunken father. No one knows from where ashwini mam got her appalling power to assassinate her father so barbarically. I have heard that you are curing ashwini mam, so today I came to you to confess everything that I knew about Ashwini mam and her family related to that incident which has made her life hell.  I did not murmur a single word to the policemen who came to question me several times last year. I beg you to help my ashwini mam and cure her completely as soon as possible.”

After hearing Sheila’s confession and reading pages from ashwini’s dairies my way of conceiving got altered drastically and it showed me a new string of hope. I had already entered into the realm of real Ashwini and after knowing the genesis of her mental disorder, I began my actual treatment to heal her cerebral anarchy. I went to Britain and consulted the top most psychiatrists there for resolving this case.

Today, after 5 years Ashwini is still getting medication under my guidance. She has recovered a lot and in merge of becoming normal very soon. Her smile is back on her face and her eyes have again regained all the dreams that she used to perceive while sleeping a few years ago. Her life that had become a book containing pages full of guilt has again started being formatted with colossal ambitions and positive anticipations.  I am more than delighted after achieving success in ashwini’s case, but my brain is concerning for a woman who's suffering physical, sexual and psychological aggression in the family, at work or in educational institutions. The problem is perceived somewhat differently today, as society begins to question, at an essential level, the consubstantiality between violence and gender relations, and as a negative attitude towards violence, in any of its manifestations in social life, becomes increasingly widespread.  The worst part is that even in 21st century; many of us discriminate girls on the basis of their looks and still torture them on gender grounds. Ashwini has asked some serious questions to our society through her diary. “Is a girl’s physical beauty everything with which she is characterized in this world??Does the outer beauty matters more than the "inner" beauty? And if it is so then why it is so??” I am pretty sure that a large section of people can’t answer her queries because this mentality of discrimination is persisting in our barbarous community.  I have decided to change the envision of our ruthless community that plays a major role in forging large number of Ashwini's every year, bawling for help in mental rehabilitation centers across the globe. 

NOTE:: this story is a work of fiction and is dedicated to all the wonderful women of this earth...............................................


Friday, September 9, 2011

Bloody Dream Visions

The girl hurried through the dense, wet forest encroached on the path menacingly. It was difficult to see beyond the trees lining the narrow path. The Sun was fast setting behind the mountains. Her village was still a few hours ago, and the strange heaving sounds of forest had already awaken the creatures of darkness. It was for the first time that she was going home alone in evening through the dark forest in the monsoon season. Her father was counting his last breath that made her to hurriedly go back to her village from her grandma’s house. She was following all the safety rules dictated to her since childhood to escape from the terrible monsters lurking in the dense foliage, waiting to pounce on her if she made a single mistake during her journey. She had heard many stories about the forest monsters. Villagers accused chandravanshi king vikramasen, for all the attacks happening on innocent people of his kingdom. They considered him as the most treacherous ruler among the chandravanshi rulers. She remembered the words told by her village head few months ago, “dear tejashwini, you are the most astonishingly beautiful girl of our village and this has become a matter of concern for us. Our king vikramasen spends more time absorbed in wine-drenched carnal pursuits, and less time in improving our lives. His long, grey eyes always wander in search of beautiful damsels to appoint them as his attendants. They have to perform various functions including guarding the king’s person, controlling access to his chambers, entertaining him with music, bathing and dressing him, gratifying his sexual needs, and tucking him into bed at night. Even many people believe that these forest monsters work for our king only to full his royal treasury-the rajakosh and enhance his collection of most beautiful damsels from the kingdom. These monsters always involve in brutal crimes like rape, murder and kidnapping of innocent people. They love the darkness and always attack from the back. Very soon you will be eighteen, so you have to be very careful from these monsters. I am gifting you a sword for your self-defense from these monsters.” Suddenly her heart skipped a beat as she heard a strange heaving sound. She immediately drew out her sword suspecting an attack from behind. “Aah it’s hurting…!! Please leave me. Please let me go. Aah….aah leave me…aaaaahh..!!!”

Phone keeps ringing twice. “Um hello” vikramasen receives his phone with a drowsy voice after coming out from his dream. “Good morning. Are you still sleeping!! It’s 10 am now. Wake up dear. I have even come to my office now and oh ghosh!! You are still in your bed.” Ashwini speaks out with a soft voice. Vikramasen and ashwini were married a year ago. Ashwini was very beautiful, graceful, and distinguished looking, with her long oval face, her translucent ivory complexion with just a hint of aqua, her piercingly magnetic, blue eyes and her long, silken, auburn hair. Vikramasen was the only son of the chairman of the famous Asen group.  Asen group was one of India's leading business conglomerates. Vikramasen lost his father few months ago in a car accident. “Hmmn! good morning, yesterday was very hectic for me after attending several board meetings and taking some crucial decisions. Papa’s death has really given me sleepless nights to fulfill his dream to make Asen group as a focused corporate, leveraging its knowledge, leadership and operations to add lasting value for its stakeholders and investors. Delhi is burning from the scorching sun of summer. You say how everything is at your place?”  Vikramasen murmured politely on his apple iPhone. Ashwini; a software engineer by profession always wanted to pursue her entrepreneurship dream that was easily fulfilled after she fell in love,  and married with one of  India’s most eligible bachelor of recent times.  She was enjoying the post of chairman in one of the leading IT Company of India under Asen group. “Everything is fine here in Bangalore. Today’s schedule is really hectic with several meetings to attend. I will be busy for the whole day today. What are your plans for today?”  “Nothing for today, I want some rest from my hectic schedule to look fresh and energetic on one of the most important day of my life; day after tomorrow. I will be reading few historical books today. Please come soon. I am missing you lolz. Love you.”  “ I am also looking forward for that day, and am feeling really proud of you for getting the CNN IBN Youth Icon - Young Indian Leader of the Year award. That’s really good; enjoy your favorite time pass. I will return tomorrow after finishing my work here. I am missing you too. Love you too and take care of yourself.”  

“There is another bad news; tejashwini’s dead body has been found in the forests. You have lost your father and elder sister.” Village head stammered these words to ashwini; a 12 year old pretty, charming young girl, born, as if through an error of destiny, into a family of Brahmins. “An ideal king should be eloquent, bold, endowed with sharp intellect, strong memory and keen mind. He should be amenable to guidance. He should eschew passion, anger, greed, obstinacy, fickleness, and backbiting. Vikramasen does not owe any qualities of an ideal king. Mother earth is weeping at the betrayal right now-Brahmins were supposed to be her guardians, the protectors of righteousness, devoutness, godliness, honesty, fairness, truth, virtue, dignity and integrity. Instead we have become common whores, available to the highest bidder for the night!” roared saktya to the village head. He was a hideous-looking man. His clean-shaven head was tough, black and leathery and he boasted a sandalwood-paste trident on his forehead. He was the most renowned teacher in all of chandravanshi kingdom. He was once insulted in the feast of wisdom; the annual banquet hosted by the king for learned Brahmin gurus from all over his kingdom. After that incident he took a sacred oath to expunge vikramasen from history by expelling him from his kingdom and give chandravanshis an able and benevolent ruler. Since then he was continuously visiting villages across the kingdom. He was in tejashwini’s village when the news of her rape and brutal murder spread out in the entire region. Saktya continued “the nightmare shall end soon. I promise. But you need to stir yourself from this troubled slumber. One must awake, see the rays of the sun, and realize that it was all just a terrible dream. Help me village head ji.” “What do I possess that can help you saktya?” asked village head. “Give me ashwini.”

The living room of vikramasen was cool and dark. The curtains had been partly drawn to block out the harsh afternoon sun, and the air-conditioning had been set to the lowest possible temperature. “Good morning. Wake up dear. It’s already 11 am now. I came back 2 hours ago and you are still sleeping.” ashwini whispered in the ears of her husband. “Good morning. You just broke up my sweet dream that I saw today.” vikramasen said his wife with excitement on his face. Ashwini smiled and lowered her long oval face to kiss the forehead of her loving husband. Her long, lustrous, wavy hair was touching her husband’s long grey eyes. “Common wake up now, mother is waiting for you downstairs. I want to take some rest now.”

Soon, ashwini lay down on her bed and went back to her memories, years ago. “My soul that has remained enveloped by the darkness of poverty, disease and feudalism, there is a single light that shines bright! I see the light! Do you?”  Her uncle saktya, a fat man with long beard and moustache had yelled at the 12 year old, pretty faced young ashwini. This girl had lost her lawyer parents in a tragic car accident that led to wonderful and tragic consequences. The destiny had made young ashwini to face poverty, isolation and other social stresses at the age of 10. Her uncle has termed her parent’s tragic death as a brutal murder, but the authorities failed to prove it and the case was dismissed forever. “The light is intense, it’s incandescent, and it’s the brightest light I have ever seen. This light can illuminate, this light is pure, this light is unadulterated energy, and this light is the light that shall envelope me and my soul where your parents still exist crying for justice. That light is you” saktya had murmured these words to ashwini with tears rolling off from his eyes in pain, despair and betrayal. She had planned revenge at the age when other girls of her age still did not knew the real meaning of this word. God also helped strong ashwini and at the age of 18, she was one of the most beautiful damsels of India. Her wise uncle was busy in executing the plans of revenge, and destiny played its role when vikramasen fall for her, just by looking at her for the first time.

That day, ashwini and vikramasen were lying on a soft cotton sheet that had been spread under the wide branches of a giant tree in a corner of a sylvan grove with ashoka, bhavya, champaka and nagara trees in blossom. The ground lay heaped with fragrant flowers that had fallen off the branches. “I simply adore you”, murmured vikramasen into her ear as he absentmindedly ran his fingers through her wavy hair. She smiled at him. “Liar! You adore being with me so that you can play your naughty games,” she admonished. “I wish to marry you, vikramasen. There’s no man I’ve loved more. Why must we go through this unbearable secrecy each time to be with one another?” “Sweetheart, let’s get married right here, right now!” said vikramasen suddenly serious, taking her completely by surprise. “How? No fire? No priest? No guests?” asked an intrigued ashwini. In our ancient Hindu scriptures there are eight types of marriage. One of them-legally recognized by the scribes-is known as a Gandharva Vivah. It’s a simple secret ceremony between a man and a woman with no third party present. We simply garland each other, exchange vows, kiss, and there you have it. It’s done!” within a few minutes they were both holding crude, but love-inspired garlands, eagerly waiting to put them around each other’s necks. Both stood up and faced one another. Vikramasen tenderly placed his garland around ashwini’s neck and, holding her face, said, “My dearest, sweetest love. I promise to worship you for the rest of my life. I shall protect you with my life and shall always honor and cherish you. From this day onwards you’re my wife, before the eyes of god.” With tears in her eyes at the intensity of the moment, Ashwini placed her garland around vikramasen and whispered, “My husband, my life, my love. Nothing has ever given me more joy than to wed you. I promise to be ever faithful to you and to always respect and obey you. You are, and always shall be my one and only true love.”

Suddenly, Ashwini awoke from her memories at the sound of the footsteps, approaching towards her room.  Her eyes were drowning in the tears of memory. “Hey dear! What happened? Are you crying?” asked an intrigued vikramasen. “No! It’s nothing. These are the tears of happiness that roll off from my eyes for you, getting the CNN-IBN award tomorrow. I am really proud of you and I love you.” replied ashwini with her soft voice. “I love you too dear. Common, let's go and do some shopping for tomorrow’s award ceremony.” Both of them went downstairs. “I am sorry vikramasen, I never wanted to hurt you but tomorrow is the day for which I, and uncle have waited for 10 years. My parent’s soul will never get peace if I leave this golden opportunity to take revenge from your family for killing my parents, and making me an orphan at a very young age. I am going to break my marriage’s promise to be ever faithful to you.” ashwini whispered to her soul, while both of them hurried to their bmw car.

The kiss was a lingering one. She seemed to lightly graze her lips over his, causing little sparks of static that travelled down his spine as he craved for the impassioned ritual to move towards its gratifying conclusion. Ashwini was undoubtedly a celestial creature. Her translucent ivory complexion with just a hint of aqua, her sensuous mouth, her piercingly magnetic, blue eyes and bronzed skin were an invitation for jealousy from the goddess. Her mischievous eyes were partially covered by her cascading, silken, auburn, long, lustrous wavy hair as she bent over his face, planting little pecks of exquisite joy upon his eyes, nose and lips.

 King Vikramasen lay back on the silken bedspread in the chamber of the pleasure palace. Sounds of a veena wafted in from the antechamber as one of the courtesans played with chords from Raga Hindol-the raga of love. Along the north-eastern wall of the room stood a golden basin that had been filled with pure rose water and opposite stood a large golden lamp that had been lit with sandalwood oil. Vikramasen was in a state of tender bliss. Allowing himself to submit to ashwini’s ministrations, he sighed contentedly. He tried to recall which great guru had suggested that the path of nirvana was complete and utter submission to the divine. Was this delectable creature anything less? He reached out his arms to pull out her face downwards towards his own while his lips sought to quench their thirst from her moist clove-and cardamom scented breath. He was on fire. His throat was on fire! Vikramasen let go of her hair in panic while clutching at his own throat as he felt the compound of arsenic and mercury scald his lips, tongue and throat. He tried to scream but no sound emerged from his larynx-it had already been destroyed by the sankhiya poison on her lips. The ambrosial ashwini continued to cradle his head in the warmth of her shapely bosom as she felt the living breath silently escape from him. The tall, broad shouldered king was a dead man now. The peacocks in the royal garden outside continued to dance, quite oblivious to the agony of the king inside.
Inside a nondescript home, saktya listened to ashwini intently as the glow of the two oil lamps on either side of his study desk threw ominous streaks of alternating shadow and light on his grimy complexion. He did not show the slightest emotion or exuberance as he received her detailed report of the assassination. But he couldn’t help laughing inwardly. The fool vikramasen had allowed himself to believe that the celestial creature in his bed was ashwini-twinkle, twinkle, little star, indeed. Hah! Little had the imbecile realized that ashwini was his trained vishkanya-a poison maiden. In fact, saktya had personally supervised the creation of an entire army of such maidens. He has identified young and nubile girls whose horoscopes foretold of widowhood from the kingdom. These beautiful damsels would be sequestered at an early age and fed a variety of poisons in graduated doses, making them immune to their ruinous effects. By the time each of saktya’s vishkanyas reached puberty, they were utterly toxic. A simple kiss with an infinitesimal exchange of saliva was lethal enough to kill the strongest bull of a man. 

“What…” whispered a groggy vikramasen as he was woken up gently by ashwini. “Wake up, vikramasen,” whispered ashwini tenderly, her hair falling over his face, teasing his cheeks. “Careful now” murmured ashwini softly, as he looked at her longingly. Within moments, ashwini grazed her lips over his, causing little sparks of static that travelled down his spine as he craved for the impassioned ritual to move towards its gratifying conclusion. “No just leave me. Get off me now” stammered vikramasen with a frightened expression on his face. “What happened” cried an intrigued ashwini. “You are a vishkanya. You are a murderer. With this lingerie kiss you have exchanged your saliva and it’s lethal enough to kill me now. I am going to die very soon. Why you did this to me ashwini?” cried vikramasen loudly at ashwini with irrepressible anger. She had grown red with surprise and anger, and she growled between her closed teeth, “What happened to you dammit? It was just a simple kiss. What do you mean by this vishkanya sort of thing? Wake up from your stupid dreams.” Vikramasen suddenly grew pale again and stammered:  “No! No! No! It’s not a dream. I am going to die and I will not let you live without me anymore. You will have to die with me now. I love you ashwini and I will not let you to leave me alone. We will live together after our death too.” He was a tall, broad-shouldered man. He seized her wrist with savage brutality, and squeezed it so violently that she was quiet, though she nearly cried out with the pain. He was trying to crush her fingers in the strong grip of his large, muscular hand, and she, livid with pain, tried in vain to free them from that vise which was crushing them; the agony made her pant, and the tears came into her eyes. She turned towards him, looked him full in the face, raised her voice and said “why are you doing this to me?”  He was stupefied and agitated, and his violent nature gaining the upper hand, he exclaimed: “because I love you ashwini. You have already killed me. I don’t want to lose you at any case. So you have to die before my veins stop working under the ruinous effects of the poison, you have already fed me.” 

One day later, saktya was retiring to his living room and was poring over the newspaper. Suddenly, he became stagnant after reading a news report on the famous Asen group in the FrontPage. “Of all the notorious celebrity deaths, suicides, and murders that have occurred throughout the annals of Indian history, none was as bizarre and gruesome as the murders that occurred yesterday. In the morning, upon arrival for housecleaning duties, the maid found a terrifying sight. Dead bodies of vikramasen and his wife ashwini, strewn about the house and grounds in a bloody mess. Vikramasen was the only son of the chairman of the famous Asen group. His wife ashwini was holding the post of chairman in one of the leading IT Company of India under Asen group. Asen group is one of India's leading business conglomerates. The dead bodies have been sent for the post mortem report. CBI has been handed down the case of brutal murder of this celebrity’s couple. Government of India has termed it a great loss to the nation. All the leading political parties and celebrities all over the world have expressed their condolences to the Asen family. Few months ago, Asen group had lost their chairman; father of vikramasen. This was another major setback for the leading business group of country yesterday. According to the initial reports, ashwini was shot in the face and was stabbed brutally. Vikramasen was shot on his head and had several wounds on his face. The security guards failed to hear the screams because of the loud music blaring on the stereo in the living room. Vikramasen  had millions of followers on his Facebook page. He was going to get the prestigious, CNN IBN Youth Icon - Young Indian Leader of the Year award,  yesterday in a grand ceremony that has been pros ponded for now. His last Facebook status was ‘tomorrow is a big day for me. Thnks  guyz  for ur support nd well wishes tht had made me to get this prestigious CNN IBN award. In last 3 days read several books based on ancient Indian history. Came to know facts about 
chandravanshi kings and vishkanya!!!”

note:: This is a fiction story based on my imagination. thanks to prakash(my hometown frnd) for doing proof reading and suggesting me some useful changes in the plot of my story.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

COLLEGE MEMORIES:: the untold love story

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. The morning, I saw today at my college has also become a memory to be remembered as the last morning of my college days. How strange are those old recollections that haunt us, without our being able to get rid of them!
Today, I feel lucky to have a plenty of good friends. In my engineering life, I solved friendship equations along with several mathematical equations to get a good job, and plenty of good friends. Mukul, a tall, pretty guy, and roommate of my hostel room took few months to be my best friend, and I miss him the most after completion of my B.Tech life. We both shared a great chemistry and did several things together at college, to be remembered by us and our friends forever. The initial months of my college days will always be special to me for endearing me with my college. I was introduced to a realm of code, where I learnt  respect for my seniors, importance of friendship, and live life by your own with hurdles, often called ‘ragging’ surrounding you everywhere. Even today, I cannot understand how these initial days have clung so vividly and tenaciously to my college memories.
During our ragging period that was for 2 initial months of our 1st semester at our engg college, we had to follow certain rules and wear the dress code designed for us. Even, we were not allowed to look properly at girls of our batch of 450 students from different streams. Seniors used to come in our classes, and few pretty girls of our class had to answer the same boring question to many seniors every day. These girls used to show their stagnant horrible faces to us, as if they were in tatters after facing ‘ragging’ from our seniors. Though, these girls felt elated at their girl’s hostel for gaining popularity among batch mates and seniors; many guys of our batch, who had got feelings for these charming young ladies, prayed for the early exit of ragging period, and try their luck to get a girlfriend at college. Mukul was also attracted from pretty, charming Reah Sen. Reah was the most beautiful girl of our batch, born, as if through an error of destiny, into a poor farmer family of  Bengal. After few days we got our freshers, and the door of enjoyment also opened its door for us to enjoy our college life along with seniors. Most of the 1st year guys changed their routine life to lead a casual life after the end of ragging period. They were all ready to dip inside the sea of love, and grab the most charming pearl to make it their soul mate for the rest of their college life. Mukul was a studious and serious student, who used to study and complete all the class assignments by his own, while I, along with my other roommates and other class mates used to talk and do fun in our hostel room. He was getting popular as a serious student in the class among all the students and girls do liked his looks, full of innocence. My hostel room was very popular among seniors of hostel, and here popularity was gained by my other roommate Prithesh, a rock star, and a guitarist. He had won the heart of all super seniors, and they used to come in our room to listen his guitar. Prithesh was a great guy with athletic body that has made several girls to run for him at his native place. He was in relationship with his 5th girlfriend and had no plans to look even at the college girls. Mukul had no choice except to hear the songs and talk with me, while Prithesh was busy in alluring the seniors. Prithesh’s guitar had not only heeled the wounds of broken heart seniors, but also helped me in sprouting the weeds of friendship with Sam and Mukul. Sam was from other nearby room, used to live in my room only due to a better bonding with me and my roommates. Mukul appointed me as his love guru, for helping him in getting Reah, as his girlfriend. Well, sorry to say so late, but yeah I was in relationship since my school days, and so was handed this responsibility to carry out. We started working on the project of Mukul’s love. Reah was now being observed by us, and I suggested Mukul to do friendship with Tanya. Tanya, a beautiful, graceful, and distinguished looking with large gray eyes was the best friend of Reah. We had a bad experience with Tanya. We including Mukul had an exchange of bad words with her for one of our friend Veer, who loved Tanya and she had ignored him. The word ‘sorry’ came in Mukul’s rescue, and we relished in excitement after he succeeded in making Tanya his 1st friend among girls of our college.
After few days, I was surprised on seeing a large no. of sms from Tanya on Mukul’s cell. He was going fast in forging a good friendship with Tanya.  They had started talking with each other on phone, and the hours of conversation got enhanced day after day. I had concealed their friendly relationship from our friends and seniors. Tanya was simple, never talked with guys in class; but she was unhappy. Mukul was also her lab partner, and he had started helping her to come out from all her sorrows that haunted her. Soon, durga-pooja vacation came and we all went to our home to enjoy the season of festivals. I met shreya, my girlfriend at my hometown. She was studying medical, and had come home for pooja vacations. College was awaiting us with our first internal exams. Mukul was well prepared for the exams, and helped me to do a good preparation for the internals. The internals went good. Mukul and Tanya started their post vacation friendship bond with a fresh odor. I was feeling the essence of that odor containing microbes of love, but waited few more days to ask the truth from Mukul. “I don’t know Ryan, what it is exactly!! But yeah I am enjoying every moment with her. We are very close friends, and I don’t want to think about anything else.”  said Mukul.  I went up to him and said: “what about Reah??” “For now, I am not concerned of Reah. I think it was an infatuation. So it’s better to end it.” Without being surprised from the reply of Mukul, I was rather happy for him and wished that their friendship soon get converted to a great love story.
It is said that in a college, the news of friendship between a boy and a girl spread out like fire in a forest.  The case of Mukul and Tanya was not different; all had started to predict a dalliance between them, attracting a lot of trouble for me and my friend Mukul. We all suddenly woke up at 2 am with the sound of large knocks made on our door. Nazim khan, 3rd year senior, entered our room. He was a broad- shouldered man, with a small red beard, a handsome man, a man whose name we had heard several times in the stories of college fights, a man whom some of my seniors respected, some of them feared, and some of my seniors hated. It was our first interaction with Nazim bhaiya, and we were shivering with fear. He cried loudly: “who is Mukul here??” Mukul replied gracefully: “I am Mukul.” Nazim bhaiya looked at Mukul with an irritated eye, and declared impatiently: “what do you suppose of doing with Tanya??Don’t you know that Ajit, my friend loves her? How did you dared of loving her? My friends were going to beat you in the day itself. But I thought of talking with you. So, I am here.” Mukul was full of fear after hearing those words and murmured in a shivering tone: “there is nothing like that between us bhaiya. We are just very good friends. Yesterday, I came to know about Ajit bhaiya that he loves her. She was very depressed today. So, we were wandering together and sat for few hours in the college canteen.”Ok, so you both are good friends!! Will you be able to prove me that she will stand for you, whenever you will be in need? If it is so, then just tell Tanya to confess me about your friendship with her. Take my no. and come with her in the library at recess time. Call me if I am not there.” Yeah bhaiya, I can do that. I will come with Tanya tomorrow, and she will confess you about our friendship.” “Ok fine. If she does that tomorrow, then I promise you today that none of my friends will hurt you or Tanya. Even, Ajit will not disturb her. It’s the word of Nazim khan, and you know that my words have got weight in this college.” Nazim bhaiya left the room after finishing his conversation with Mukul.
 I was stagnant for few minutes along with Prithesh. We both were confused, after hearing the conversation between Mukul and Nazim bhaiya. We both looked stupefied, and then Prithesh stammered out: “hey what’s the matter dude? What you have done? Why you are getting yourself involved in this trouble? Do you love Tanya?”  Then, unable to bear it any longer, Mukul replied in an exasperated voice: “Oh! Do leave me in peace; I am explaining the whole matter to both of you. As I told Nazim bhaiya, I really came to know about the case of Ajit bhaiya only yesterday. Tanya called me yesterday night and she started weeping loudly. She told me about Ajit bhaiya, who was behind her since the 1st day of our college life. She never liked him, and always ignored him. But he used to disturb her by getting her ragged from the senior girls, friends of Ajit bhaiya. Yesterday night, she was called by her seniors; they abused her, and warned for not talking with me. They even scared her of complain that they would lodge against her to the girls hostel warden, if she continues talking terms with me. She told me to forget her as she never wanted me to be in trouble from Ajit bhaiya and his group. I was broken in tatters after hearing her painful words, containing the essence of tears rolling off from her large, beautiful eyes. I realized for the first time that I had started adoring Tanya, and tears from her eyes do hurt me. She was depressed today too, so for the first time, I went to canteen with her and tried to give her a good time by spending few hours with her in the college campus. I saw Ajit bhaiya looking at us with his irritated eyes full of anger. The hatred against Ajit bhaiya which was fermenting in my veins suddenly roused me, but I controlled it just to keep Tanya away from more troubles. I have started caring her. I think I am in love bro!!....” I felt elated after hearing these words from Mukul. He had started loving Tanya from his pure heart, easily visible from the tears rolling off his eyes, spreading the essence of his unconditional love for her.
Next day, Sun shone warm and bright into the large courtyard near college library. Tanya, feeling awkward about the confession promise, finally confessed to Nazim bhaiya, and he promised Mukul to go by his words. His words were like flowers of joy for Tanya and Mukul, and they started wandering together in the college premises like a new couple, without any fear.
My room was appearing to other friends as a room of love birds, with all of the roommates busy with their love on phone during midnight. But soon Prithesh had a break up with his 5th girlfriend, and again, we were unable to find the reason of his break up. The dilemma of his love life was that every time a girl proposed him, and after remaining in relationship with him for few months, they ran with other guys. He had decided this time not to be in any further relationships. On the other side, Mukul was always surrounded with problems related to others, who wanted to shatter his love story. This time it was veer, who wanted to create misunderstandings between Mukul and Tanya. We had to intervene, and a clash was successfully avoided between Mukul and veer. Even, I was going on a rough patch with shreya during those days.  Thanks to Diwali, which came at the right time, and we all went home to celebrate the festival of lights with the family. In this holiday, Mukul got a lucky chance to take Tanya to her home. He called me on Diwali and told me about his fabulous journey with Tanya, and told how much frightened he felt while meeting the parents of Tanya, who were very friendly to him. It was one of the best Diwali of his life, and I really felt happy for him. The festival of lights also helped me to clear the rough patch with my love shreya.
After Diwali, I insisted Mukul to propose Tanya, which I felt was the appropriate time to do. I already knew it, how hard it is when you are going to propose your best female friend. I had faced it in past, but after initial rejection by shreya; she accepted my offer, after noticing me for a long period. In case of Tanya, I was damn sure that she will accept Mukul’s proposal at once, but still knowing a girl completely is a task, failed by lots of sages of ancient times. We were keeping our fingers crossed and on a proper situation, when Tanya was feeling jealous while Mukul was busy talking with her roommate, he proposed Tanya and it took him almost three hours for murmuring  I love you Tanyain a shivering tone. “I did it Ryan. I did it guys. I proposed Tanya today.” Mukul uttered a cry of joy. I responded, full of anxiety: “you are my brave brother. Proud of you! She told you na a big yes...?” “No man, she was stagnant and kept quiet for a few minutes, after I proposed her. She did not believe my words and was repeatedly saying that she had not thought anything about it. At last, she asked for some time and wants me to be continuing the friendship.” “Hey! It’s great. You are luckier than me. My friendship got affected, when shreya had initially said a big no to my proposal. She will very soon say you a big yes, when she gets convinced of accepting you as her soul mate. Don’t worry bro…it’s time for a big party...!” “Thanks Ryan, it all happened due to your support and confidence you showed on me.! It’s really a time for celebration.”
We celebrated the success of Mukul with a grand party, he threw to us. Mukul and Tanya became closer to each other after Mukul’s proposal, signaling a virtual yes to his offer by Tanya. Hurdles kept coming to their love story, and this time it was a guy named krish, who had claimed to be Tanya’s boyfriend since her schooldays. He had questioned the character of Tanya and even suggested Mukul, to be careful from her. Mukul completely believed Tanya, and he just took krish, a mad one sided lover, as told by Tanya to him. Semester exams came nearer and we all became busy with lab exams and in exam preparations. Due to Mukul, I and sham had also come close with reeti and keerti, roommates of Tanya. We all were class mates and used to go to canteen and library together. Sham had soft feelings for keerti, but he never thought of telling her. Reeti had also some soft feelings for Mukul, before she got committed with a guy from the nearby college. She liked Mukul and Tanya as a pair, and was helping Mukul to get a big yes from Tanya as soon as possible.

Finally our 1st semester exams started in cold December. First three papers went really good for us. After completion of 3rd paper, we had got a one day gap for the next exam. That evening, the college main building raised its colossal arch against the red sky, and the sun seemed to be sinking on to it, showering fiery dust on it from the sky. I had not seen Mukul after the exam but was not worried, as it was his regular habit to go out with Tanya and wander in the college premises. He returned after a few hours with a swollen face, red eyes, and shivering voice. He appeared to be broken in tatters. I thought that there must have been some misunderstandings between him and Tanya, and it will be sorted out very soon, like it happens in my case with shreya. He slept for few hours with eyes continuously rolling off tears, spreading the essence of hatred, betrayal all over the room. After few hours, unable to bear it any longer, Mukul woke up and said to me in an exasperated voice: “bhai, I got cheated. Tanya broke my heart. She had told me lie about everything. Today, krish called me after our exam and told me that he had a recording, containing his conversations with Tanya during their school days. He told me to listen the recording, and know about the real Tanya. Initially, I did not believe him, but again I thought of listening the recording for once, and clear out all my misunderstandings about Tanya. Well, really speaking I am cursing my soul for listening the recording, containing her sexual chats with krish, a mad one sided lover for me. The unconditional love that was fermenting in my veins has got converted to hatred for her. My brain has stopped working, and my heart is still not accepting the fact about which my ears sent the signal to my brain few hours ago. How can Tanya cheat me bro! How can she do this to me!! How can she tell me the bundle of lies?” I was really shocked after hearing these words from my best friend. He had been cheated from a girl, who appeared to me the most simple and pure hearted girl, I have ever encountered in my life, other than shreya. The situation at that moment was appearing to be a very critical one. I called Reeti, who was the closest friend of Mukul, after Tanya. I told her the whole incidents about recordings and krish. She was not shocked as much I had expected her to be. Then, she said me in a whisper: “well, first of all I want to ask sorry from you and Mukul. I knew about krish. He was her boyfriend since school days, and they broke up during our ragging period. Related to recording, I don’t know anything. That is really very shameful act by Tanya. She had told me not to tell the truth about krish to you people. After seeing the unconditional love in the eyes of Mukul for Tanya, I always asked her to tell the truth about krish. She hesitated to do so as she had already told him a lie about krish, and she never wanted to break the trust of Mukul. But, as it always happens; the house made of brick of mud falls very soon, similarly relationship built on several lies get shattered very soon. This recording thing is really unacceptable for me too. She never told us about this stuff. I can understand the feeling of Mukul, and the condition in which he might be going on now. Please lend your support to him and tell him that I am always with you people. He needs us the most now.” I was feeling cheated too by these girls, who were the best female friends of our friend group. How can they be so selfish and irresponsible in case of relationship, when a guy has given his everything to his unconditional love!!  
Well, the night passed by and next day, I kept busy Mukul with me for studying maths, our next scheduled exam paper. Fortunately, our maths paper went good. After the exam, Tanya called Mukul as she wanted an urgent talk with him on the matter of recording and krish. We told him not to change his decision that was to do break up with Tanya. We knew that he may be emotionally tortured by Tanya, due to his innocence and pure heart that was graced to him by the almighty. Mukul came back after few hours, and uttering a deep sigh, as if after a first victory, went on in a calm voice: “I broke up with Tanya. She pleaded me with various explanations for not to do so. But, I did it finally. For some moments, after seeing tears rolling off from her eyes, I wanted to give her a chance, but could not do so due to her words, I had heard in that recording. So it’s ok for me now. I am finally relieved and will try to forget her as soon as possible.”
At night, I went to the college ground along with Mukul. He wanted to have a personal talk with me. He smiled with a proud and simple joy and said: “today, before going to Tanya, I went to reeti. She told me everything; she had kept hidden from me. Tanya never loved me. She was using me just to enjoy the status of having me as her boyfriend. I was her puppy, as I supported her and backed her in all her decisions. I protected her from abuses and ragging from our seniors. Today, I am telling you a bitter truth; she never called from her cell phone. She used to give me a miss call, when she needed to talk with me, and I immediately called her without slightly thinking of the money, I spent on my phone recharge. In the early days of college life, she had announced of getting a boyfriend, who was to be a handsome, good hearted, innocent guy, ready to do anything for her. Reeti even told me that Tanya will do anything to not let me go from her life. While talking with Tanya today, I wanted her to see her going for anything to not let me go from her life. And at last, when I was adamant with my decision, she pushed me near her face and told me to kiss her lips, a proof that she can do anything for not letting me go from her life. I went close to her, saw in her eyes, did not found a single trace of truth, touched her chins, vibrations leading me to love her unconditionally was also missing in that touch. I was getting uncontrolled in that situation and was about to kiss her when suddenly, I remembered the last words by reeti. Tanya had recorded my proposal words “I love you Tanya” in her mobile phone, and almost all the girls of our batch had heard the proposal words. She used to laugh after hearing my unconditional feelings for her. The hatred started fermenting in my veins, and I pushed her away. I went out hurriedly from the empty classroom, left her all alone to think for a new strategy for getting a new guy of her type.”  Tears were constantly rolling off from the eyes of both of us. I knew that Mukul had to face consequences for leaving Tanya. But, he had gained a different kind of inner strength and was ready to face it all.


Thursday, January 27, 2011


These days, social networking sites have become a part and parcel of our lives.  No one would have guessed a few years ago about today’s dependency of our lives on these sites which has caught almost all the celebrities to get attached to its realm. My morning starts almost daily now with a regular checkup of updates on my Facebook and Google accounts. I don’t know that how many of you have created a fake profile and enjoyed through it but, I really did once in my life and pledged not to do it again. The incidents which happened afterwards still make me feel sad and always want to say her “I AM SORRY MA...M “
                                                                         It was really not the same 4 years ago, when I was in Delhi for preparation of competitive exams. Facebook and orkut were very new those days. These sites were then used for forming new friends irrespective of today, when it is mainly used for being in touch with our friends and relatives. I knew very little of social networking sites, girls and flirting when I entered Delhi, but a year stay in the city provided me a bachelor’s degree in all of them. The other factor that helped me in getting better in flirting through social networking sites was that like me, many of others were new to the sites and, we considered too many friends and scraps as a matter of status, thus we helped each other to get that status and the task was very easily solved. After regularly interacting with my new friends on orkut, I was losing interest from orkut and wanted to move on. My addiction to orkut brought me back with a fresh mischievous idea of opening a fake yahoo account and creating a fake orkut profile to flirt with girls only. Thus, on 14 February 2007 shivamshankar was born and I made his orkut profile full of every quality which most of the girls’ dream of their boyfriends containing it. Shivamshankar was a 4th Year B.Tech student of NIT Warangal. I just changed his educational qualifications and made him 4 years older to me. I kept other qualities same so that I can add perfection to imaginary shivam to appear a real shivam to other people. Shivam started his tasks immediately and sent friend requests to almost 200 girls on the same day. Within a week, shivam was containing more than 80 female friends and few male friends including me in my original form. Everything was going as I have planned and till 28 February, I really enjoyed seeing my hero shivam flirting with almost all type of girls in the way I always wanted to do.
                                                                    On 1st march, a new female friend entered shivam’s friend list that not only killed shivam but also changed my life forever. Aaliya, the Mumbai girl appeared to me like his any other female friends in the early stage of their friendship with shivam but, he was dealing with her in a totally different way and within a week of friendship, they were chatting late night on yahoo messenger prompting me to spend my time and money in cyber cafes, instead of books in that crucial time of my life for shivam’s new interest, who was driving him crazy. Aaliya was pursuing bachelor’s degree in banking and insurance. Her father was an engineer and she belonged from a upper middle class family. She was a typical girlie gal kind of girl in the matter of chocolates, shopping and partying. In the early days of their chatting they both appeared to be enjoying their respective moments. I was not sure what was happening to shivam but he was getting attracted to her after chatting every day.
 a6686: so wot do u see in ur dreams
a6686: ???
shivamshankar: anything tht happens in day.............
shivamshankar: i mean something...........or daily life..........or with my freinds
shivamshankar: faltu things usually ha ha ha
a6686: n i see totally opposite things
a6686: like all imaginary
shivamshankar: good...........
a6686: i love that
shivamshankar: means u ur imaginative................hmmn
a6686: m i boring u.......??
a6686: ya i m
shivamshankar: no not at all 

After, few days I was really disturbed as I felt that the sweet Aaliya was also falling in love with shivam who really does not have any existence. Controlling shivam was on my hand but I was really confused in case of Aaliya and I did not stopped them in chatting hours and hours. shivam had created his own imaginary world in which Aaliya was getting trapped and it was really a matter of concern for me. They talked about films, actors, food, places ,hobbies and various recent topics of their daily life. They had their own opinions on each topic and they have even started to quarrel in some matters but were enjoying at their best and meanwhile, I also started liking Aaliya.

 a6686: u hav started this chattin thing recently only na
shivamshankar: ya.....................
a6686: matlab iske pehle u use to chat kya????
shivamshankar: ha thora bahut apne frnds se messenger pe
shivamshankar: but then i was more busy in my own buisness..........
shivamshankar: i want to gift u a n 91 ...............will u accept it
a6686: if u really wanna gift me somthin then giv somthin which sweeet noce simple
a6686: gift somthin that reflects ur feelings n not ur MONEY
shivamshankar: ok...................if i gift u my heart to u will u accept is sweet and simple
a6686: ha ha ver funny ha
shivamshankar: ha ha ha ....................really it will be the best gift i can give u................
shivamshankar: my feelings towards u........................
a6686: ya aur kuch
shivamshankar: and ya i m very proud tht u r such a gorgeous lady for whom money does not matter and i liked it
shivamshankar: u r gr8
a6686: thanks
a6686: ek bat batoa
a6686: batao
shivamshankar: bolo
a6686: hav u lied to me about nythin
shivamshankar: no.........................
a6686: ok
a6686: sure na
shivamshankar: never.............
shivamshankar: ya
a6686: ok
a6686: chalo then bye 

And that day after letting shivam to propose Aaliya, I was elated but a bit of guilty inside me was surrounding me for letting my imagination to enter someone’s real heart and playing with it. I never wanted to hurt Aaliya but also not wanted to let her go from shivam’s life too. Finally I left all to my heart which had tuned up with shivam’s and compelled my mind to let shivam to make dip in the river of pure love. They continued their daily chats with a daily proposal by shivam and a funny reply from Aaliya, but she was letting shivam to get more close to her. After few days the prelims of Aaliya started and she decided to give shivam her phone number after her exams. Even, Aaliya has planned her first date with shivam in Mumbai during their proposed meet in July.

a6686: u like john Abraham
a6686: u hav uploaded his pic na
a6686: y don't u upload urs
shivamshankar: u want to see me...............
a6686: naah
a6686: i maent
shivamshankar: why?
a6686: its bette to upload ur pic na
shivamshankar: can u show me ur photo...............or in mumbai visit only then?
a6686: i don't hav ny
a6686: ri8 now
a6686: on ma pc
shivamshankar: i want to hear ur voice once................plg
a6686: i told u na
a6686: after ma exams
shivamshankar: ok when ur exam finish?
a6686: 22 may
a6686: u hav friends who happen to b gals??
a6686: hav u approached a gal nytime
shivamshankar: ya i did a gal past
shivamshankar: par rejected
a6686: wen u r emotional u tend to get attachd wid someone very easily
shivamshankar: yup.................its rite
a6686: n den it hurts if the person doesn't reciprocate ur feelings
a6686: n that is y it bcomes ur weakness
a6686: samjha
a6686: see u said that u kinda love me n all
shivamshankar: chalo tumko yaad to aaya................
a6686: i jus can believe that
shivamshankar: ha i expressed u my feeling..
a6686: hmmmm
shivamshankar: accha..........wht u hav felt abt me till date say frankly frm ur heart?
a6686: hmmmmmmm
a6686: well i think of u as a nice guy
a6686: with very indian mentalities
a6686: n sweet
a6686: n a good friend
a6686: don't try to put on a different mask wen ur a differnt person altogether
shivamshankar: what?
a6686: arre matlab u behave the way u r
shivamshankar: ya............sure..........i do..
a6686: that's wot i think of u.
shivamshankar: good...................aur movies dekho yaar...............
a6686: ha
a6686: abhi aap vaha delhi me aur hum yahan mumbai me
a6686: movies kiske sath dekhe??
shivamshankar: fr knowing u is it necessary to know Marathi??
a6686: ya cos wen i meet i m goin to talk in marathi

so, after reading some of the real conversations between shivam and Aaliya, you also have thought of the love which was quite evident and their net love story was soon going to convert into real love story, had shivam went to meet Aaliya in Mumbai. He was going to talk with her on phone after 23 may 07.  Frankly speaking I was in love with Aaliya and my soft side for her has only made shivam to go ahead and win her heart. I knew that we don’t have any future but I did not want to hurt Aaliya  in any way. Days passed by, and by the mean-time while Aaliya was busy with her exams, I gave all my competitive exams in Delhi. Soon, May arrived and I packed my bags back to home. After completion of my all exams, when I should have enjoyed along with my other friends, I was busy in solving my life’s biggest mystery where I was playing with a pure-hearted girl’s real heart. Finally, I decided to end up the relationship but, I wanted a better ending and I planned an idea, which was enough to worsen the image of Aaliya’s hero and convert him to the villain of this love-story. Now, for the first time I started chatting with Aaliya by becoming me in the name of shivam and I had left my heart behind and let my brain to play the game to achieve a better ending. Till date shivam has known a lot about her closed female pals. I just made her to believe in shivam and he told unfair things about Akanksha, her closed female pal and created a misunderstanding between them.

shivamshankar: nd now pls relax
shivamshankar: u got na]'
a6686: i don't believe this
shivamshankar: now u do as u wish
a6686: she was engaged wid someone
a6686: oh ma god                      
a6686: now i thought she is a very good friend of mine
shivamshankar: ok...................good thouht indeed ha
a6686: she never told me that she was engaged wid someone
shivamshankar: ab i said na..........pls leave this matter
a6686: n that i was responsible for her break up                
a6686: i jus don't believe this
shivamshankar: now som time pls
a6686: u know this is getting on ma nerves
a6686: i need to ask her about this
shivamshankar: y ar u becoming so angry now?
a6686: wot do u expect frm me ha
a6686: there's somebody talkin everythin crap n shit abt me
a6686: n u think that i wud keep ma cool in such things
shivamshankar: ok take care till then..........
shivamshankar: nd dont use my name
a6686: ya u too
a6686: don't worry

I knew that this will work, and she did quarrel with akanksha, and parted their ways I knew that Akanksha will not leave me after her quarrel with Aaliya and it happened as per my plan.  Akanksha inquired about me and after getting the evidence of non-existence of shivam, she showed them to Aaliya. She was broken to tatters and started asking shivam about his originality. I tried to save shivam but seeing her adamant, I told her the bitter truth which happened accidentally and I had broken a simple girl’s heart in pieces. That day itself on 14 may, I killed shivam and hated myself for doing the thing which I should have never done or ever imagined to do in my life. Tears were constantly rolling off from my eyes as I killed my own hero and lost my dream girl. It just happened and weeds of failure were visible all over my face. I don’t know what happened after that to Aaliya .  Today, on Facebook I searched Aaliya, and found her committed and settled in Canada. I am happy to see the smile on her face in her profile picture. I know that Aaliya will never forgive me for doing all this.  Really it is true that you can’t say exactly when and where you will get in love, it just happens. Still, I will love to meet her someday and say “I AM SORRY MA…M”